The 3 Pillars of Health That Can Shape Your Marriage
When couples think about health, they usually think about diet, exercise, or weight goals. But health is far more than physical — and marriage feels the impact of that misunderstanding every day.
In this episode of Imperfectly Married, Michael and Heather unpack the three pillars of health that every marriage depends on: physical, emotional, and spiritual. They explore how neglecting even one of these areas quietly creates disconnection, irritability, fatigue, and emotional distance — and how small, intentional steps toward wholeness can radically change the way couples love, communicate, and connect.
A healthy marriage doesn’t begin with better habits.
It begins with healthy people choosing wholeness together.
Why Health and Marriage Are More Connected Than We Think
There’s a simple truth many couples overlook:
A marriage is only as healthy as the people inside it.
When we don’t feel good physically, emotionally, or spiritually, we don’t show up the way we want to — or the way our spouse needs. We become more reactive, more withdrawn, less patient, and less available. Over time, this creates distance that feels relational, but often starts internally.
That’s why health can’t be treated as a side project or a personal goal disconnected from marriage. It’s foundational.
Pillar 1: Physical Health — Showing Up in Your Body
Physical health isn’t about perfection, appearance, or extreme discipline. It’s about energy, confidence, availability, and longevity.
Michael and Heather share how physical health impacts:
Emotional availability
Sexual connection
Patience and irritability
Confidence and vulnerability
When someone doesn’t feel good in their body — due to exhaustion, weight changes, poor sleep, or chronic stress — they often withdraw emotionally and relationally. That withdrawal isn’t rejection; it’s self-protection.
What Physical Health Looks Like in Marriage
Getting adequate sleep
Eating as close to whole foods as possible
Staying hydrated
Strengthening the body for longevity
Moving regularly (walks count)
This isn’t about bodybuilding or restrictive diets. It’s about stewardship — caring for the body so you can be present for your spouse, your family, and the life you’re building together.
Pillar 2: Emotional Health — Keeping Short Accounts
Emotional health shapes the tone of your marriage more than almost anything else.
When emotional health is neglected:
Irritability increases
Resentment builds quietly
Small issues feel overwhelming
Communication breaks down
Michael and Heather emphasize the importance of not ignoring emotional signals — whether that means addressing unresolved pain, seeking therapy, or paying attention to what you’re consuming mentally and emotionally.
Practical Emotional Health Practices
Therapy or counseling (when possible)
Honest conversations in safe spaces
Monitoring what you listen to, watch, and consume
Naming emotions instead of suppressing them
Asking “why” when emotions feel heavy
Emotional health doesn’t mean you never struggle — it means you don’t struggle alone or in silence.
Pillar 3: Spiritual Health — A Shared Direction, Not the Same Discipline
Spiritual health isn’t about having identical routines or being in the same place spiritually. It’s about moving in the same direction.
Michael describes spiritual health in marriage as:
“A shared direction — not the same discipline.”
Some seasons allow for long devotionals and structured prayer. Other seasons require simple, honest prayers, worship music, Scripture playing quietly in the background, or moment-by-moment dependence on God.
Spiritual health is nurtured through:
Prayer (formal or informal)
Scripture (reading or listening)
Time in creation
Worship
Trusting God in the middle of stress, not just after it passes
When spiritual health is ignored, marriages often drift without realizing why. When it’s nurtured, even imperfectly, resilience grows.
Why These Three Pillars Must Work Together
Physical, emotional, and spiritual health are interconnected. When one pillar weakens, the others feel the strain.
Physical exhaustion limits emotional regulation
Emotional stress impacts spiritual connection
Spiritual depletion makes everything feel heavier
True health doesn’t come from focusing on just one area — it comes from integration.
You don’t need to overhaul your life. You need small, consistent steps.
Small Steps That Create Big Change
Health doesn’t improve through drastic overhauls — it improves through sustainable rhythms.
Try starting with:
One better food choice per day
One walk this week
One honest emotional check-in
One short prayer or Scripture moment
One boundary that protects rest
Progress beats perfection every time.
A Final Word for Couples
As you pursue health together, three challenges will surface:
Pace — you’ll move at different speeds
Comparison — measuring yourself against others
Judgment — toward yourself or your spouse
The antidote is curiosity.
Stay curious about your spouse’s journey. Believe in each other. Encourage without controlling. Champion growth without pressure.
Because a healthy marriage isn’t two perfect people.
It’s two people choosing wholeness together.
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
The 3 Pillars of Health That Can Shape Your Marriage
Available now on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify.
📥 Do you know what your Enneagram type is yet? Don’t forget to take your Enneagram Assessment and join our January Marriage Challenge: 31 Days of Connection to walk this month intentionally together.