Imperfectly Married the Podcast – Affair-Proofing Your Marriage: Tips to Water Your Own Yard (Before It Withers)

Because “the grass is greener” where you actually water it.

Let’s be real: no one gets married hoping their love will dry up. But over time—between the late-night feedings, carpool lines, career stress, and unspoken resentment—your once-lush connection can start to feel a little crispy.

Before you start eyeing someone else’s “perfect” yard, let’s talk about how to tend to your own. These five practical, intentional steps will help you cultivate a marriage worth celebrating—right where you are.

1. Don’t Compare Their Highlight Reel to Your Behind-the-Scenes

You know that couple who’s always holding hands on Instagram, drinking lattes in matching outfits and making heart eyes across the dinner table? Yeah… they argue too.

No marriage is as flawless as it looks online. Every couple has dishes in the sink, baggage they’re working through, and moments they’d rather not post. Stop measuring your relationship against someone else’s carefully edited highlight reel.

Instead, invest in real connection—not filtered fantasies.

2. Speak Their Love Language—Even When Yours is Starving

It’s easy to focus on what you wish your spouse would do differently. But growth doesn’t come from waiting—it comes from planting.

So speak their love language—even if yours feels empty. Give without tallying. Love without scoreboard energy.

Sometimes, you have to sow before you see anything grow.

3. Call Out the Good Stuff

You know what your spouse is doing wrong—but do they know what they’re doing right?

Start bragging on them. Out loud. In front of other people. Point out the hard work, the quiet sacrifices, the tiny things they think go unnoticed.

Affirmation is free—but it’s worth more than you think.

4. Guard Your Emotional Energy

Emotional affairs don’t start with scandal—they start with comfort. That coworker who listens a little too well. That DM that makes you feel seen.

If you wouldn’t say it in front of your spouse, don’t say it at all.

Your heart has a home. Don’t hand out spare keys.

5. Pray for Your Marriage. Together. Out Loud.

It might feel awkward at first—but prayer is intimacy. It’s vulnerability. It’s a chance to say, “We don’t have it all together, but we know Who does.”

Even if you fumble through your words, showing up spiritually changes everything.

Let God water the places you don’t know how to reach.

Final Thought:

If the grass looks greener somewhere else… it’s probably because someone’s watering it.

So turn on the hose. Tend to your own yard. And watch what grows when you show up—consistently, courageously, and with your whole heart.

🎧 Want to hear more? Tune in to our latest podcast episode where we unpack this topic in real, relatable ways. Listen now to Imperfectly Married and take the next step in building a stronger, more connected marriage.